Palm Beach Tan

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Be For Real S1-EP2

Season 1: Episode 2: “Letter to my ex.”

I cried my eyes out last night because I felt unwanted. I know I’m not alone, but I feel lonely. What do the lonely do during the holiday season? For me, this year, I’m going to blog. I have been single for over a year and have dealt with over fifteen different guys since our break up. Not a single one led to any big romantic gesture. Dating is not for the weak; this shit sucks. “Being for real” is it my fault that my dating life has turned out the way it has?

I know I come off as overpowering, strong, and independent, but honestly, I’m a giant baby who likes being held. I was with my ex for so long because it was safe. I did not expect us to break up because I told myself, “who else would want me.” Yesterday, they told me I “emotionally cheated” on them. I never thought about it that way because, towards the end of our relationship, I just wanted to feel wanted. I love them with all my heart, but I never truly understood how to ultimately make our relationship work. We were both so sad and depressed about opposite situations in our lives, and I started to feel like we were neglecting our own self-help.

This past summer, we connected and started hanging out, but it was too late. This city is too small; she knows about all my different situationships, or at least the ones people shared with her. I felt so terrible for being single and doing single people things. I laugh now because how could I truly ever work on myself if I always cared about what she thought of me. I am sorry that I spent the last year mingling with guys because I have never dated any before, sue me! I always went running when something tragic happened in her life but for what. I am not saying she has not been there for me, but we are not together, so why do I feel dependent on her.

I am terrified of feeling lonely, so I hold on to these relationships that do not hold meaning or value in my life. I try to subconsciously keep people around because I do not want to feel left alone. I apologize for my selfish nature. The best way for us to heal is for me to let you go.

This episode(blog post) is dedicated to my ex. The person I have loved unconditionally for the past three years. My best friend, my partner in crime, my sunshine, it is time for us to depart. We are not healthy, and tonight was a lot for me. I do not want to argue. I just want us to separate from each other’s lives. I want to remove myself before anger consumes me. I like to love. I like to live. I like to be happy.

Be For Real: S1-EP1

Season 1: Episode 1 - “If you can be anything, be for real.”

Today, I ran into my ex. When I said “ran into,” I pulled up at my ex’s house like a “crazy person” because she hung up in my face while we argued on the phone. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why I felt obligated to pull up to her house and cause a scene, but I would be lying. I pulled up out of anger and finally wanted to have my “say it to my face” moment. Ultimately, I ended up ugly crying in front of her apartment as we both started deep diving into our past actions towards our awkward" friendship/relationship" over the past year.

As I write this blog post, I can tell you that I haven’t been “for real” with myself. I keep saying that I’m in a “great space,” but I know I am not after my actions today. I got so angry because I went there expecting my ex to tell me they missed or loved me unconditionally and would never let me go. I wanted a hug so bad because I had been feeling completely unwanted. I was not “for real” with myself. I pulled up out of anger, expecting some big movie climax, only to be left feeling like a complete idiot that just embarrassed herself once again. I broke my phone, wasted half a tank of gas, and did not complete any task or go to work today because I felt utterly crappy for myself over a situation I brought attention to.

I must be “for real” with myself and acknowledge that I am not okay. I am going through depression because I feel unwanted in my romantic life. I am creating scenarios in my head about how others view me and acting on them. These habits cause me to become unfocused in school. If I can be anything right now, I need to be “for real” with myself and get my shit together.

peoplefromheaven
peoplefromheaven

At home spa day


Beforehand:

  • Declutter your space
  • Light scented candles
  • Put on a playlist/podcast/audiobook
  • Pour yourself a drink
  • Make sure you have all materials within reach


Feet:

  • Remove old nail polish
  • Soak feet in a foot bath prepared with salts
  • Exfoliate & remove death skin
  • Cut nails
  • File nails
  • Take out gunk between nail & skin
  • Cut cuticles if needed + push them back
  • Apply a new coat of nail polish
  • Apply cuticle oil and foot cream

Hands:

  • Remove old nail polish
  • File nails in desired shape and length
  • Apply cutticle remover and push back/cut any cuticles
  • Buff nails
  • Apply a new coat of nail polish
  • Apply cuticle oil and hand cream


Hair:

  • Latter your hair in a hair oil/mask
  • Double rinse with first a cleansing and then nourishing shampoo
  • Apply conditioner to only the ends and rinse
  • Dry as needed for your hair type


Body:

  • If you wax, dry exfoliate
  • Apply baby powder to desired areas
  • Wax desired areas
  • If you shave, exfoliate in shower
  • Shave desired areas
  • Use body scrub over entire body
  • Lather yourself in nice smelling soap
  • Apply anti hair growth serum
  • Moisturise


Face:

  • Remove makeup
  • Cleanse thoroughly
  • Steam your face
  • Exfoliate
  • Pluck/wax eyebrows and any other facial hair
  • Apply face mask
  • Rinse
  • Massage face
  • Tone
  • Add serum and any other product needed for your specific skin type/condition
  • Moisturise

College Sucks

I genuinely remember thinking that my life would be so amazing in college. That I was going to join all these organizations, become president of SGA, have an amazing friend group, join the best sorority ever, and plus find the love of my life. I thought I was going to have late night adventures, late night sessions in the car, take plenty of road trips, and also fall in love. I imagined that I would make straight A’s, graduate on time, find the perfect job, while simultaneously be in love. I truly believed my life would end up like this, but instead…. 


I never participated in SGA and I did join organizations, but I was outcasted, tossed to the side and labeled as a problem starter. I never got to share my ideas fully because nobody wanted to hear them or help execute them. I joined an sorority, but was labeled a dictator and only made a few great connections. I was in a relationship for two years, with a woman, and honestly I thought we would never end. I was holding on to that relationship because I assumed she was the one. I made future plans for marriage, living together, kids, and so much more! I poured my all into, only for me to realize I was covering up some well needed self care. 


I am at the place in my life where I feel defeated. I graduate college in seven months and I truly do not know what I am about to do. I have a job offered lined up, but speaking honestly I am using it as my escape from reality of how shitty I feel my life is.   

financeprincess
financeprincess

✨ things that make my life feel expensive ✨

  • Always being curious to learn and actively pursuing knowledge. This is #1 for me. Constantly be trying to elevate yourself with information. There's no better time than now to be able to learn new things. Psychology, theory, fiction, persuasion, finance, history, emotional growth, nutrition, beauty, time management, philosophy, politics, strategy, classic literature, art, high fashion, hard sciences, technology, investing. There's so many things to learn about. There are a lot of free courses out there as well.
  • Having manners and etiquette. Smile at people. Be friendly. Be especially kind to people working in the service industry, retail, customer service.
  • Being well spoken. Limit profanity and slang. Don't gossip or say anything about yourself in a negative light. Think before you speak. It's okay to pause, think, and articulate.
  • Water, tea, freshly squeezed or cold pressed juices in champagne flutes or wine glasses.
  • Making fancy cocktails (or mocktails!) and putting them in proper glasses, with stirrers. It helps if you have a bar setup too, I have a cute lil bar cart with all the fixings.
  • Expensive smelling candles. They don't have to actually be expensive, they just need to look cute and smell good.
  • Fresh flowers.
  • Taking bubble baths.
  • Cooking delicious recipes from scratch, and eating at the dining room table with a full setup. Candles, glassware, cloth napkins, jazz music in the background, the whole nine yards. Ambience is everything.
  • Drinking tea in the afternoon out of a teapot and teacup.
  • Natural air fresheners. Essential oil diffusers, incense, reed diffusers. I'm a big fan of fresh eucalyptus bundles in the shower too.
  • Salt lamps and battery operated candles. I try to live off of low, warm lighting and sunlight as much as I can.
  • Houseplants.
  • Buying cute crystals and setting up an altar to myself. I have a pretty silk scarf laid out on the end of my vanity, with crystals, sage, written affirmations, etc.
  • Silk robes.
  • Big fluffy bathrobes.
  • Sunlight. Get as much as you can, even in the winter. Go outside in your puffy coat if you have to.
  • Being in nature, in general. Nature walks are essential.
  • Listening to jazz & classical music.
  • Reading. There are a lot of free ebooks online, or you can go to the library too.
  • Champagne.
  • Cooking with fresh herbs, vegetables, fruits etc.
  • Trying new hobbies. Ballet, yoga, Pilates, barre, horseback riding, etc.
  • Maintaining a clean and beautiful home environment.
  • Wearing perfumes & perfume oils. Right now I'm obsessed with Oudh, it smells incredible.
  • Wearing jewelry I love.
  • Trying new recipes out of fancy cookbooks.
  • Going to wineries and attending wine tasting events.
  • Try baking delicious and healthy treats.
  • Fresh, high quality bedding. Crispy, high thread count white sheets. Feathery pillows. Great quality mattress.
  • Get up and watch the sun rise, if you can. Sunsets are beautiful too.
  • Get blackout curtains, especially if you live in a city with light pollution.
  • Fancy coffee table books.
  • Fresh bread, either from a local bakery or homemade.
  • Going to farmers markets.
  • Going to museums and art galleries.
  • Having dinner with friends. Either at a nice restaurant or having a dinner party.
  • Sleeping. Resting. Hibernating. Sitting. Napping. Relaxing. Being Present. Single tasking.
  • Espresso drinks at home, with a milk frother and espresso machine. The cost of a mid range espresso machine will pay for itself in no time if you drink takeout coffee regularly.
  • Bluetooth speakers in the bathroom, bedroom, and kitchen.
  • Big, fluffy, white bath towels.
  • High quality, nontoxic personal care products. This goes for hair products, face products, body care, makeup, even toothpaste. Don't throw everything out, just be conscious of your purchases when you buy new things.
  • Going on picnics in the park.
  • Dark chocolate.
  • Gelato.
  • Days at the beach.
  • Beautiful lingerie.
  • Matcha lattes.
  • Going to brunch.
  • Going to the library and bookstores.
  • Smoothies.
  • Reservations at new and exciting restaurants.
  • Reusing pretty candle jars as containers.
  • Reading luxurious magazines and newspapers. Some of my favorite are Vogue, Town & Country, Architectural Digest, Food & Wine, Financial Times, Bloomberg Businessweek, and The Wall Street Journal.

xoxo ♥

kaayrebel
federiac-deactivated20250916

ruthless feminine rules:

1. you must be willing to walk away at all times. doesn’t matter what you feel, how well they meant, how good they are, as soon as you feel icky, you take yourself and leave.

2. you must be disciplined enough yourself to discipline men. that means: no yelling, no paragraphs, no over explaining. actions.

3. stay far away from people who try to humble you (especially men).

4. you must reward inconsistency with unavailability.

5. a man is worth nothing unless and until he has provided you enough financial resources and consistent respectful communication.

6. you must dress well, eat well, take care of your health,looks, finances regardless of how you feel.

7. same rules for everybody in this world. your sense of self does not give people discounts.